I have been operating pubs, bars, and restaurants for over 22 years and in every venue, we have become a haven for someone who needed us.
My first experience of this was my first local bar. A venue designed for a young crowd all in their mid-20s. We served premium products with quality service and made our guests feel special.
Yet in the 10 years that I operated here, there were always customers who visited us daily who it was clear needed more from us than just a place to meet with friends.
My first experience of this was an old lady well into her 80’s. Every day at 4 pm she would come in heavily loaded with shopping bags which we suspected mostly contained old newspapers, she would always be in the same clothes and same coat and it was apparent that she was beyond the ability to look after herself properly. She came in every day and she would order herself a hot chocolate, I think about £2.50 back in those days. She would sit at the same table and stay for an hour before collecting her things, thanking us, and leaving. She never once wanted to chat, she didn’t appear to want a conversation but she obviously wanted to be in a place with others to have some human contact.
The other was a man, perhaps in his early 40s who again would come in daily, but this time he was a little bit more annoying, he would order a pint and stand at our bar chatting to whoever happened to be on shift. He would be there all night and chat away, getting to know all our staff and customers. Our staff got adept at learning to give him their attention whilst also getting on with their tasks. I admit it was annoying, but this man just wanted human interaction and the only way he could find it in a way that was socially acceptable was to come to us and prop up our bar. He did no harm, and we made a difference to his life.
Through all my venues I can think of similar customers, people who needed a place to go.
A few years later in a city centre venue, there was an elderly couple a man and his mother, he was in his 70s and she in her 90s. They would arrive by taxi every day at 11 am, sit in their favourite chairs, and order a tea and cake. He would have his, order his mother another and then he would leave and go for a walk for the next 2 hours, leaving her with us and her cup of tea. When he returned they would order a taxi and leave. This went on for years and it was obvious that this was the only thing they had in their lives other than the four walls of their home.
It is sad but also heart-warming that our venues can offer this to people.
There were also the less obvious, the younger people who would come regularly to our venues, people who struggled to make connections and friends for whatever reason but in a pub, they had a legitimate reason to be around other people they could comfortably buy a drink and without any awkwardness get to know our staff and then perhaps other customers.
I can think of several people over the years who, whilst not officially members of staff, would be invited to our staff parties because they were now part of that friendship group and part of our family. For them, our businesses were important secure steppingstones to being able to find a social group and friends.
A great unforgettable character was a Canadian man who was staying in a nearby flat whilst he studied as a foreign student at the local university. He was in his 60s and here on an adventure, getting a degree from a UK university and keen to get involved in local life. A regular visitor who became friends with us, our staff, and our customers. We are now all referred to as his ‘British friends’.
I can remember 100s of these people, people who came to us alone and needing a space that was safe in order to interact with other humans, to make friends, to become a part of a community, and to contribute to others.
I have never opened the doors to any of my venues expecting or intending to provide this but there is no doubt that this is a consequence.
If I think about it though where else could these people have gone?
In our modern world, there are too many opportunities for people to find themselves isolated and with modern societal structures, there are fewer alternatives to finding a community.
The pub is that place that allows us all to be levelled. Our status no longer matters as we walk through the door, we are all equal, we are all friends, we are all one welcoming community.
#pubsmatter
