In my 25 year career in hospitality I have won over 20 awards, but this award is one that is not on my website and in fact one that I forget to mention, but it is the one I am most proud of it’s the one that feels most deserved.
In 2017 in my local running club I won ‘Most Improved Runner’ as you can see it is a shield award with previous winners’ names engraved. I know from the list of other recipients that this is an important award, prestigious in the club and reserved for those runners whom within the club are the highly respected.
But look, they awarded it to me!
The reason I am most proud of this is that I can measure precisely the effort that went into the years of training.
In 2013 I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome caused, we think, perhaps, due to a combination of a series of personal tragedies; a new business; 4 young children and a loss of blood cause by complications with the birth of my youngest.
Anyway, I went from someone who was constantly being busy, filling every minute of every day with stuff to someone who could barely get out of bed in the morning.
If I walked just 1/2 a mile I needed to go for a nap. It was hellish, I didn’t know what was wrong with me and I struggled to get anything done. Looking after my family and just keeping my business afloat were my priorities but beyond that I spent most of the day in bed.
I described it as losing all my stamina.
After months of investigation with nothing obvious being found other than mild vitamin deficiencies a very kind Doctor gave me a final diagnosis of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/ME he then said ‘but you are not the right profile for that’.
My fear through all the wait for investigations was that whatever was wrong with me was going to be how I would remain for the rest of my life. That a diagnosis would impact the quality of the life I would be able to lead.
I walked away from that appointment and I realised that what the Dr was telling me was that I could choose to accept the diagnosis or I could do what I had always done in the past and accept the challenge and find a way through it.
The next day I got up and went for a walk, I came home and went for a sleep.
And I did this day after day until I built my stamina back to being able to function over a normal day.
I did not want to stop there. Previously I had been a runner, not a great one but I had discovered a love of long distance running and had enjoyed marathons.
I had no illusions that this might be possible again but I wanted to keep getting fitter and stronger and so I set out to start running again.
As anyone who has ever learnt to run will know, it is not easy those first few months coming from ‘couch’ fitness to being able to run a few miles but I continued and built stamina.
Once I was able to run 5 miles again, I joined the local running club.
I had always wanted to run with others and being quite shy and awkward the additional challenge to myself here was to enter a room of strangers to make friends.
I did it (after a few weeks of psyching myself up) and I started running with a group.
Besides running in a group, club runners also enter ‘races’ and it wasn’t long before I was being persuaded to enter. There was a half marathon coming up and as tradition all the club entered. I was too scared. My Chronic Fatigue had left me believing that this was going to be beyond my reach and that I would never be able to complete the distance again.
But with the kindness, support and encouragement of my club I bravely put my name down.
On the day, I was terrified. But another club member ran with me and paced me for the first half, reaching the half way point I realised I was strong enough to continue and I ‘raced’ the final sections on my own with so much pride and joy and at the end I had the rest of my club to share my elation with; others who have all had similar experiences of facing a challenge and doing it anyway.
My confidence as a runner grew and I entered many more races with my club. By running with the club, I started ‘speed work’ and ‘strengthening’ I became a stronger faster runner, (whilst building new friendships).
I reached a point where I believed that I could go further, I realised that I had worked at my stamina over years and now I could perhaps run a marathon again. Between myself and the club my confidence had grown to believe that not only could I run a marathon but that I could train to run a marathon in under 4 hours. An ambition that would put me in the top 20% of runners, an ambition I had had but always thought beyond my reach even before I was ill.
I set to work on a 6 month training plan working on my speed, building stamina and building strength.
Because the ambition was speed and distance it required a huge amount of discipline, getting up at 5am some mornings in order to fit in a run before the kids woke, eating a careful diet making sure I got enough sleep, abstaining from alcohol. I enjoyed it, but it was hard work.
The day of the race arrived, and I was nervous. I knew exactly what I had to do, and I knew how hard it would be.
It turned out to be the hardest 4 hours of my life.
With a target to reach I was very aware of every minute, checking my watch constantly to check I was still on time, putting one foot in front of the other, following the pacers ahead of me watching them get further and further out of sight.
For the final 3 miles I watched the ankles of the runner ahead of me, unable to lift my head or to consider anything beyond just continuing with motion.
It should be no surprise that I finished the race in 3:58:58, just 1.2 seconds off my target. I know I had trained for a better time with more of a gap from the target but fear always has an impact and targets always tie you to them.
The euphoria of completing the race in my target time was not just the chemicals produced by endurance or exercise it was the years of rebuilding myself both physically and mentally.
I have never been so proud of myself as I was that day… until that was, I received that trophy.
To have my peers recognise my hard work and the effort the discipline that had been put in was more than just affirmation.
They knew from their own experiences how hard it was to achieve. Every runner no matter what their achievements started not able to do it. They have all had to build stamina and strength and speed and they all have their own backstory of challenges they have experienced both physically and mentally on the way.
Winning awards is not just about gaining attention or recognition of achievement when it really means something it is about your peers recognising that you like them are trying your best.
I still have the same health issues and they do worry me all the time, but I don’t let them stop me doing anything… my ambition now is to become an ‘ultra-runner’, maybe this time it is beyond my reach. It won’t stop me trying though!
